Friday, May 13, 2011

Not so Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              


      I need to vent today so I feel you all will have to listen to my cry. Well today is my birthday and although I try not to be a person who complains I have to say this was the worst birthday ever.  I don't know why after 12 years of being together, 10 married, I think that my husband may surprise me and have something planned other than dinner.  I also don't know why I let myself get upset when he doesn't come through.  This year took the cake.  We had a big argument about it being just another day.  I feel that I'm not wrong to ask for a couple of days a year to be held special.  And even if he thinks it's just another day then make it special for me because you love me.  Now don't get me wrong most years it's always dinner and a movie but he has done some that I didn't expect also so why wait   til now to say " it's just another day".  This year he decides that we are going to a South Carolina baseball game.  In my opinion that wasn't about me at all since I have never asked about going to one accept for saying we should take the boys to one.  I don't think that screamed oooooooh I want to go to one for my birthday.  Then the game gets suspended before it even starts because of severe weather.  So needless to say we didn't even get to see the game.  He did buy a cake but only after the argument so to me it was just to shut me up and not that it was planned.  I think it really got to me this year since Mother's Day wasn't the best and this was also our 10th anniversary and we just had lunch.  Now I don't want it to seem like I want him to go out and put us in debt for these days but I would like a little creativity and previous planning for these days.  I do everything in the home and never complain or ask for much so am I wrong for wanting 3 OK 4 days a year to be special days.  I love him and he is a great provider, this is just one thing that I don't get.

     Have you had horrible birthdays, anniversaries, or any other day you hold dear?  Do you think I am making to big a deal about it?

                                 

3 comments:

  1. No, you're not making a big deal about it! Men just don't take subtle hints very well. If there is one thing my Husband has taught me that I really appreciate, is that if you are thinking something or want something done a certain way, you just have to come out with it. Tell him you want a cake, you want a gift, you want him to spoil you for the day! I bet you anything he'd pull through for you. I think we've all had those b-days and anniversaries where we expect something great, and it never comes. Happy Birthday to you...I hope you'll get a makeup day for it soon! Tell him you want one =)

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  2. Aww! I'm sorry to hear you had a cruddy bday! I've had a few that seemed to be just another day too. I agree with Tanya that often you do have to be more direct with men, it's just they way they are. LOL! After 23 years, my Mr. now knows to ask, "what would you like to do for your birthday?". I usually am either very direct about my wants or narrow the options for him considerably. He is not good with surprises but all the other qualities he is good at far out weighs this one flaw. :) Happy Late Birthday!!!

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  3. Sorry you didn't have a nice birthday :( Have you ever read "the Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman? The gist of it is that everyone has a love language that they speak...mine is acts of service, my husband's is words of affirmation. I show love my doing things for others and I am terrible with words of affirmation! My husband shows love with words of affirmation and I just think he is schmoozing and not being genuine! I think he loves me when he takes out the trash and fills the sugar bowl without asking. That means he loves me more than if he buys me flowers and I do not like getting gifts! 10 years of marriage is not a long time for your husband to figure it out...you're just getting started. We've been married 25 years, and we're still learning. You're going to have to tell him what you want. I used to keep a little photo book for my husband with cards of my favorite gift shops and I would write on the cards what I liked in the store. I didn't know exactly what I was going to get, but I knew I'd like anything in the store. You just have to remember that your husband isn't a mind reader! I have to remind myself of that all the time!

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